On the upteenth day of Christmas, my conscious said to me..

Ay-o, everybody. :)

I know, I know, it's been forever since I've posted and I'm truly sorry.
I really wanted to update this blog regularly, but something a bit terrible came up.
That is, my depression.

For me, December is literally the best time ever for me.
Christmas brings me am overwhelming amount of joy and I always get so excited to the point of acting like a little kid. But this year has truly been one of the worst.
It's challenged me in all forms and it's hit me hard personally and non-personally.
I won't go into details, now or any other time, but it was quite frankly a very horrible time for me.
And therefore, I lost the spirit to do just about anything.
That includes blogging, writing, Christmas, having fun..

But there is a happy ending to this story.
About two weeks ago, roughly, I stopped kicking myself and feeling horrible and crying and I got myself back up again after some heavy prayer and talks with God.
I realized that I shouldn't let the bad times get me down.
I was letting depression win.
So I fought back and I've been feeling great ever since.
Now the only real stress I'm feeling is the one you get when preparing for Christmas in the very last days until. XD

While I wish some things could change or be fixed, I've done all I can from my end and it's now upto the other side of these problems on whether things should be fixed or not.
All I know is, I'm done with trying to work things out and taking the blame for everything, you know?
I'm not a perfect individual. I never said I was.
And I do feel pain and struggle with things just as much as the next person.
I just hate showing it to people.

Thankfully, I've had amazing parents and amazing friends to help me get through it.
Seriously, my friends have been incredible.
They've supported me and kept me laughing and really helped get me to this point.
I'm so blessed to have them. :)

Anyyyyyywwwaayyyyy, I'm gonna be excruciatingly busy the next couple of days, as I've been busy this whole week, so I may not post again until Sunday or Saturday night.
I'll have lots to post, believe me. XD I just hope I can find the time!

So yes, thank you for the support you've given the blog.
I'd appreciate continued prayers for me, my family, my friends, and for everything to go good this weekend. And ya know, for what is left of my sanity. ;D
I love you all! God bless!

Turkey Day, gobble gobble

Hello, lovelies!
Tis entering the evening here, and I'm currently trying to get some things accomplished before my sister in law and Auntlings come over (ahem, niece and nephews) for a visit.
My sister and brother in law came over this morning for the main Thanksgiving meal, then we played UNO. ;P
Still trying to get through the day, cuz Thanksgiving still sucks. But hey. Whatta ya gonna do?
Can't make time go any faster.

Anyways, I have some plans for this coming Christmas.
For one, I'm gonna be trying out a thing I saw online where you wrap up books for your kids to read and open one up for each night throughout December.
Uhhhh, except I'm wrapping up my favorite Christmas movies instead and opening them on video for my friends to watch.



Another thing I'm doing starting December 1st is make up cards (which I already have) for each of the peeps that have been there for me this year and have taught me so much.
They seriously mean the world to me. So I put a message for each one, telling them so, and will be reading three cards a night to them on video. :)
I can't show you the cards, cuz they kinda have their last names, and uh, the covers are kind've a surprise for them. XD
So there's that.

I can show you a thing, however, such as a mask I painted a couple of weeks back.



Er, particularly the one on the left.
The one on the right is what I did last year...
As I said to my friends, idk if this is merely a shift in my creativity or a statement of my current mental state. In all honesty, my "Joker" penguin..a product of my paint bleeding onto the front side when I painted the back..did all my friends a major frighten.
._.
Totally not my intention....

Then, of course, I have my postcards to mail out at the beginning of the month.
As soon as I get more money and buy stamps (the Charlie Brown ones, of course), I'm gonna send 'em out. :D



Next are two little things I've gotten into this year..

The first being Twilight Zone. A magnificent TV show from the elden days.
I always heard about it, but I never watched it. Then they had a New Years marathon for it on Syfy and I wound up becoming obsessed.
So yeah, I kinda ordered the DVDs periodically, and I have had them all for months now, and I love this show so much. I'm running through them again on my break from FB. ^_^
If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it. It's fantastic.

The other thing to be keeping me occupied atm is A Series of Unfortunate Events.
I got into it this year, as well, cuz of my sheer curiosity after owning the movie for so long.
I'm only going into the 5th book soon, but it's amazing so far, so much that I've been collecting the books all year and now only have one left til I own the whole series. =D
Also a pretty good series, so I recommend it, as well.



As soon as my break ends this Sunday, I'm gonna be back to livestreaming a movie night with my friends. It'll be our third one now, the movie series in particular being the Dark Knight Trilogy (FAVORITE MOVIE SERIES EVER). I gots me some popcorn last night, cuz reasons.
So I'm all set for the fun. B)

Besides all that, I'm gearing up for writing again.
I miss it like mad, after being so busy with the cards and junk.
It's really gonna help me to escape from the mess going on everywhere after I return to facebook.
In fact, I'm not really gonna be doing a full-on return to where I spend hours on there like I was.
I'd like to set out some time to chill and do simple activities that make me happy.
There's so much drama and so many conflicting opinions floating about on the internet, especially social media. It was seriously making me feel nauseated.
Life is heaps simpler when you're a kid and don't have to worry about people's screwed up beliefs and opinions, thinking they're somehow better than you.
It sure irritates when people come down on you just because you like something they don't.
ugh..

Anyhow, yeah, I miss writing. So I'm actually gonna try to tackle that tonight.
I might make a new post cuz of it, just to show you how I get into my comfort zone. ;)

So yeah, I'm done being weird for now.
I love you guys tremendously and hope you had a fantastic day!
God bless. :)

Shopping with the Queen, gobble gobble

Hello, lovelies!
Welcome to the continued posting of this little nut, sitting here blogging when she should be getting ready for bed. Thanksgiving and all, but meh.
Thankfully, I have most of everything done, considering my ma and I spent the night cleaning the house to near perfection. All that's really left is the cooking of the turkey.
*gag*
Okay, yes. I don't much care for Thanksgiving. It's been a gradual thing for years now, me not liking it. I just think it's pointless and merely there to be in the way of Christmas.
I'm not very adventurous when it comes to food, so I don't care for pies, dressings, weird sauces, beverages, creams, puddings, bleh bleh bleh. I don't even care much for cake, but I'll leave that alone for another time. I'm also not much of a bird person (unless it's Arby's or Chick Fil A or cold sliced turkey you get for sandwiches), so the fact that I'm stuck with turkey for too many days makes me sad. Give me pizza and I will eat it for the rest of my life.

Anyhow, a miracle kind've happened for us this week.
God has provided for us a tremendous amount and we were able to go and do a lot of Christmas shopping today. Can not tell you how excited I was to get shopping done for my fam. ;P
Now I can go crazy next paycheck and buy all de Christmas things my eyes see.

Oh yes, speaking of Christmas stuff.
Lemme introduce you to a little thing called "Shopping with the Queen".
Where I come out and show you all the pics I take from a trip to the store/stores, of things that me eyes fancy. Yesh yesh, this way, mortals..




*hisses at blinky laser lights*

It's important to note that Cosmo, my tablet, who is very precious to me, takes much better pictures outside than he does at home. Which is why I'm in desperate need of a camera to replace the one that malfunctioned on me last year, leading me to getting a new camera of some kind (which also led to me getting something to go on the internet with, har har).
So just letting you know ahead of the time, of my unfortunate predicament.

I also must say that I'm pretty impressed with the way some stores are dazzling up this Christmas..while others, ahem, are lacking in the worst way.
I walked out of a couple of stores today utterly disappointed in what I saw.
It's sad how little an effort they made to make things pretty and special like they did last year. ;_;
Idk why they don't just rehash the same designs that worked. Sigh.









On a side note, I can't wait to get a tree!! Omg, another reason I need Thanksgiving just to be over, cuz I need dat Christmas and it's wonderfulness to come. XD
I'll be a gazillion times happier when it comes around and wipes away this year's crummy residue.
I grow bored of 2016.



Those are some big freakin' ornaments. ._.

Over at another store, I came across a plenty of Penguin things to make me go nuts.
If you know me, you'll know I have had a near life-long obsession with Penguins, and I can't explain why. All I know is I've claimed myself as one.

Bath n Body Works in particular has done a gorgeous job with their decorating this year.
They've sparkled up their Christmas merchandise and it's stunning.
I'm not a girly girl, but I do get a bit mesmerized by shiny things. 8P

Any fool can see how gorgeous they did the thing this year.
Seriously want that Vanilla Bean Noel, btw... *sobs*

Next came the bookstore, which I walked out of, empty-handed. But hey.

need it

 

I naturally couldn't resist snapping pics of the lovely nerdy things, considering I am their Queen and all. *snickers*

Here, have the remaining pics.


stickers

A box my mom got for my nephew, dkqjkkwh


Finally, a penguin...with reindeer antlers.....that is me.

A funny thing happened at B&BW, btw.
The two women working the counters were both extremely gorgeous, it wasn't even funny.
So after one complimented me on my penguin earmuffs (...don't judge me), I took that moment to tell them both that they were very beautiful and looked like models. XD
They gasped so loud and were grinning so wide, it really made me feel like I accomplished something.
IDK about you, but making people smile or laugh has always been a goal of mine.
Something I love doing and strive to do as much as I can.
I guess it's the entertainer in me, but I really do love to make people smile and laugh. 

Happy, in other words.
I have a tendency to feel like a failure if this is not accomplished and winds up playing out as the opposite. And I really beat myself up for it.
Which is silly, of course, given that many people are so horrible and will be mean solely to be mean...

But yeah. Today was an interesting enough day.
Very busy, but I at least got stuff done and got things I've been wanting for quite awhile.

God really blessed us in more ways than I could ask for.

Stressing so much about how he's going to provide and getting angry at him for not doing something when we want him to just makes me wanna kick my own tail.
It's rubbish.
God has a timing for everything. He has a plan for everything.
No matter what happens in this life, he's going to take care of you.
Be it on Earth or in Heaven.
You just have to trust in him. Sure, not everything's gonna work out.

Life is never exactly how we plan it. But there's no sense in whining about it.
Stand up, dust yourself off, roll with the obstacles, keep your chin held high, and endure.
If one door closes, another will open.
No sense in trying to break into the door that can not be unlocked.
And no sense on beating on it, either.

It's okay to get upset, throw a tantrum, cry, whatever.
You're human and nothing else can be expected from it.
But you must learn to adapt and accept what comes.
Or you'll always live your life in stress and bitterness.

Now that I've said all that, I must away to bed.
Another busy day tomorrow, being Thanksgiving and all. Sigh.

Wish me luck as I try to manage through it. 8P
As soon as midnight of November 25 strikes, I'm blasting that Christmas music. XDDDD



Until the next post, have a great day, loves. Stay safe, gorge yourselves, and God bless.